We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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