apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize