no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
