But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
