In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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