Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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