I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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