You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
