Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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