Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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