So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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