Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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