you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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