I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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