Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
