Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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