Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
