Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
sex in a hospital.. check
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
