We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
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I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
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Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now