Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
