Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?

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  (847): How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women? http://tfl.nu/e8g0
  Replies (92) Good night (1584) Bad night (3925)
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  (818): View more from California

  hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win

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  (818): hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win http://tfl.nu/nyog
  Replies (14) Good night (8421) Bad night (671)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.

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  (780): Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah. http://tfl.nu/5le1
  Replies (10) Good night (1171) Bad night (4305)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday

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  (518): i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday http://tfl.nu/uz0x
  Replies (10) Good night (3073) Bad night (939)
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  (909): View more from California

  I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.

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  (909): I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment. http://tfl.nu/mic1
  Replies (1) Good night (1137) Bad night (2025)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"

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  (778): we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go" http://tfl.nu/uvr2
  Replies (3) Good night (3334) Bad night (888)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.

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  (785): You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina. http://tfl.nu/6dr6
  Replies (8) Good night (3215) Bad night (980)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot

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  (228): I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot http://tfl.nu/chtf
  Replies (1) Good night (1013) Bad night (855)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.

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  (406): Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/8if7
  Replies (9) Good night (756) Bad night (1201)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.

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  (505): Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds. http://tfl.nu/oq4c
  Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (324)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)

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  (972): Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :) http://tfl.nu/7aie
  Replies (1) Good night (799) Bad night (334)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills

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  (802): New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills http://tfl.nu/1x0y
  Replies (4) Good night (1051) Bad night (423)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.

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  (303): I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen. http://tfl.nu/ym4o
  Replies (2) Good night (854) Bad night (349)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again

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  (863): I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again http://tfl.nu/i6de
  Replies (3) Good night (586) Bad night (285)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.

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  (404): Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate. http://tfl.nu/nuzb
  Replies (4) Good night (514) Bad night (450)

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