Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.