I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
