Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
