You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
