We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
