Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
