i need an iv and a liver transplant
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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