Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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