is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
