Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
