I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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