Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Too much gin, very little bucket
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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