It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
