My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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