just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
