sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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