There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
