Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
