That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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