He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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