No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
