Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.