I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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