Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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