I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
birth control should be required to get into college
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
