doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Operation Purity has been aborted
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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