you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
