He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
