Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
