Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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