Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just cut my nipple shaving
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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