Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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