So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
