Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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