I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
