He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I have tasted many bathrooms
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
