I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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