So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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