made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
