...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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