The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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