the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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