He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
