Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
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I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
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Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize