I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize