I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
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There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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