I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
is wine microwaveable?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
